About the SiteWelcome! InSearchOfPerfectFriendship.Com is my outreach and spiritual website aimed at preventing child abuse by exposing this abomination and promoting healing prayers for abused children and adult survivors through the intercession of Santo Niño/Child Jesus.
The thought of helping abused children had been with me for quite sometime, but I didn't know how to go about it. In my dreams, I saw myself rescuing children from earthquake and fire which motivated me to do the same for abused and abandoned children. I even went to the Philippines and witnessed firsthand a shelter for abused kids which was run by a priest. But the real breakthrough came to me seven years ago when I experienced the healing power of the Child Jesus, which inspired me to form in our parish the Santo Niño Healing Prayer Ministry, for the physical, psychological and spiritual healing of all victims of child abuse. What a tremendous blessing that had been for me to serve the Lord through the ministry. And so, I thought of reaching out to more people in desperate need of Santo Niño's healing through the Internet, but I couldn't for three reasons. First of all, I wasn't Internet-savvy enough to build and maintain a website. Next, I was afraid that people might think that I was preying on children in the Internet, like some kind of child predator or molester that they had seen on TV. Lastly, I was fearful that by exposing our family and the horrific effects of child abuse, it might destroy our reputation and ruin our real estate business, which was our only source of livelihood. So, what brought the change of heart in me and my family? Praise Santo Niño! for sending His Spirit to enkindle in us the gifts of knowledge, wisdom and discernment, which empowered us to surrender all our fears to Him, and not worry about any obstacle that could prevent us from praying for the healing of all victims and survivors of child abuse all over the world. WHY PERFECT FRIENDSHIP? The idea of friendship first came to me when I was thinking of a simple but worthy topic for my undergraduate thesis. I remember that I submitted five topics to my professor and he approved this title (ON FRIENDSHIP) which was only my third preference. Since that time, I became uninterested in writing my thesis. On second thought, however, I realized that the choice was excellent. I saw the importance of my thesis clearly in my own situation. During that time, my interpersonal relationships with my friends were failing considerably. My grades were low as compared to those during the previous semesters; and my health was deteriorating slowly. The person whom I considered and introduced as my best friend turned out to be my own worst enemy. Where I failed, I did not know. One thing I knew at that moment was that I must get started with my thesis in order to justify to myself that I should not be blamed for all the injustices that proceeded from the friendship. Also, I became conscious and wanting of a true friend but realized that friendship is rare. It was during my research that I got introduced to the idea of perfect friendship in Aristotle’s two books (Books VIII & IX) of his Nichomachean Ethics. St. Thomas Aquinas esteemed his definition of perfect friendship so highly that he used it as a foundation upon which to build his definition of charity, for he says that “Charity is nothing other than a friendship for God.” It was also around this time that my friendship with my classmate Noemi blossomed into a steady loving relationship which inspired me later to conclude my thesis with certainty and conviction that, indeed, perfect friendship—whereby friends of similar virtue are able to love each other unconditionally for their own sake (the good of the beloved) and not just what is good for themselves (whatever they can get from the other that is valuable, useful and pleasurable) because of their love for God—is possible. Unfortunately, even though I successfully defended my thesis which allowed me to graduate on time and obtain my Bachelor’s degree, deep inside, I was depressed and miserable. Part of it was because I couldn’t sustain my relationship with Noemi and we started drifting apart. But mostly, I was clueless as to what was happening in my psyche. And so, I skipped the whole graduation festivities, to the dismay of my parents, and stayed in the province. Over there, I felt safe again in finding my usual retreat (which I learned from my 6th grade Religion teacher—Sister Marieta, a Benedictine nun—when I was in trouble) namely, by going to church everyday, praying the Rosary and talking to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. That summer marked the beginning of my perpetual quest for perfect friendship not only in my personal relationships, but also creatively, intellectually and spiritually, which led me to pursue my Master’s degree and to embark later on in doing a multimedia (film, video, cd and script) thesis presentation on Perfect Friendship, which brought me to the U.S.A.. Here, I met my lovely and dearest wife Evangeline, who bore me two beautiful and talented children, Osbert and Claire-Voe, who convinced and helped their technologically-challenged Dad to build this site and put him on Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and Tweeter on the 1st day of January 2010. And so, here I am with this website---a chronicle of my journey with Jesus---the Perfect Friend. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT To Monsignor Rich Arnhols & Father Bill Halbing---my spiritual advisers and friends DEDICATION To Gie---my wife, friend, lover, and soulmate |