I'm sorry for not exerting enough effort to know and love You more after quitting my Bible Study class with Fr. Bill Halbing three months ago, when he moved to his new parish in Scotch Plains, NJ, which made it inconvenient for me to drive that far. It's no excuse really because I wouldn't mind driving the distance if it lead to a free Jason Mraz concert , an unresolved post collegiate tryst, or a part in a crowd scene of a Lars Von Trier film.
I'm not thrilled either with the wrench and silence in my gut, while reading atheists' points of view, or that heathens (especially the comedic ones) are taking you for a ride, politicians are persecuting Your Church, and governments are complicit in killing Your people and destroying Your Creation.
And, please forgive my numbing paralysis and inaction while continually being confronted by the greatest evil of our generation, the slaughter of babies in the womb, in the media, in politics, in other countries, and in our own towns here in Bergen County.
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I know that You already know what's in my mind,... but may I ask a favor from You, anyway? Here are the top seven on my list.
First, can you please send us the perfect buyer for our house who will not only consummate the transaction, but enjoy and take good care of our home like we do, because we intend to stay in our parish, downsize to a condo in the area, and not bump into our old abode in disrepair.
Second, please find the right second wife for my brother after the disastrous first two prospects, so that our expectant family and huge extended family can stop speculating, rest in peace and enjoy a much delayed sumptuous wedding.
Third, kindly provide us with the best keynote Charismatic speaker/preacher possible for the "20th Anniversary Holy Spirit Mass and Brunch" of our prayer group on April 20, 2013, who doesn't demand a large honorarium, and lives around the area yet remains undiscovered in the Renewal scene, because we don't have the funds (gave it all as love offerings to the priests who preached and did missions in our prayer group this year) to fly someone to New Jersey.
Fourth, You know that I love children; I'm not getting any younger; and I'm ready to be a grandpa anytime You will it; so please grant my long standing wish and bless me with as many grandchildren of my own as possible, just like what You have done to my classmates, relatives and friends.
Fifth, please don't take away my cross but just loosen it a little bit by getting this person, You know who, off my back, and keep my focus on You, by working tirelessly with my wife and our brothers and sisters in Your vineyard.
Sixth, Lord, take care of my grown, career-driven and highly independent children, and give them the grace to do Your Will and follow Your Commandments because they travel a lot, and I can't keep up with them anymore.
Lastly, Abba Father, please increase my Faith in You, everyday...I need it.
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Four days after Thanksgiving and ten days before my birthday, here I am Lord praising and thanking You for giving me another chance to enjoy earthly life with my family, friends, and Charismatic brothers & sisters.
I know how precarious life can be. You have us in the Palm of Your Hand and can snatch us anytime when You deem that our life is up, just like the way You took our brother and only guitarist in the prayer group two weeks ago, who had so much zest to live and unbounded energy and determination to serve You, despite his lingering illness. But, why this penchant for taking our musicians away, such as our brother-pianist who dropped dead last year, without any warning signs or replacement in sight? You know that we can't have a viable choir praising You in songs without instrumentalists accompanying us. But somehow, that's exactly what's been happening to our Music Ministry all these years. I trust and know that You have reasons, for after all, You are not only omnipotent and omniscient but also the Alpha and the Omega of all things. However, I must admit that many times, I can't follow and fathom Your Divine Intelligence, my beloved Father!
And, You know, of course, that when I'm at wit's end like this, I resolve not to doubt You, my Almighty Dad in Heaven. If my children Osbert and Claire-Voe never doubted my love for them when they were young, and even more so today in their mature minds and dispositions, because they know that I will always be a loving father who will be there for them whenever they need me; then, who am I to even think that my heavenly Dad, Who is the Source of all goodness and the Perfect Good Himself, will go against His very Nature and abandon me, His son, whom He created in His own likeness, and prepared a dwelling place for me to share in His everlasting Kingdom!
Again, I want to praise and thank You, Father God, for bringing me and Gie into the Charismatic Renewal, keeping me alive and continuously healing me physically, psychologically and spiritually from the effects of child abuse, and giving me the discernment and boldness to proclaim and testify that You've not only done great things for me and my family, but that You keep filling me with joy, peace and love of the Holy Spirit every moment, even in my unworthiness!
Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to me during our Deliverance service with Damien Stayne last summer. What a wonderful surprise that was to me, for You to follow up on my healing, through Your Son Jesus Christ, Who delivered me from my deep-rooted concupiscence that has enslaved me on and off, through the years. This year, I was able to walk along the beach unperturbed by near naked bodies, or watch Penelope Cruz's old Spanish movies and delete unsolicited pornographic movie posters that were hacked in my computer without getting turned on, for the first time in my life! What a great blessing to receive from You the spiritual gift of finally being set free from this irrepressible concupiscence, which was brought about by the effects of sexual abuse that was inflicted on me as a young boy, and gave me tremendous pain and suffering in life.
And so Dad, I'm begging You for more healing of my fellow survivors, and deliverance from the effects of this abomination for all victims of child abuse.
Finally, I adore and glorify You...Our Father, Who art in Heaven; Hallowed be Thy Name; Thy Kingdom come; Thy Will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread; And, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; And, lead us not into temptation; But deliver us from evil. Amen.
I'm not thrilled either with the wrench and silence in my gut, while reading atheists' points of view, or that heathens (especially the comedic ones) are taking you for a ride, politicians are persecuting Your Church, and governments are complicit in killing Your people and destroying Your Creation.
And, please forgive my numbing paralysis and inaction while continually being confronted by the greatest evil of our generation, the slaughter of babies in the womb, in the media, in politics, in other countries, and in our own towns here in Bergen County.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that You already know what's in my mind,... but may I ask a favor from You, anyway? Here are the top seven on my list.
First, can you please send us the perfect buyer for our house who will not only consummate the transaction, but enjoy and take good care of our home like we do, because we intend to stay in our parish, downsize to a condo in the area, and not bump into our old abode in disrepair.
Second, please find the right second wife for my brother after the disastrous first two prospects, so that our expectant family and huge extended family can stop speculating, rest in peace and enjoy a much delayed sumptuous wedding.
Third, kindly provide us with the best keynote Charismatic speaker/preacher possible for the "20th Anniversary Holy Spirit Mass and Brunch" of our prayer group on April 20, 2013, who doesn't demand a large honorarium, and lives around the area yet remains undiscovered in the Renewal scene, because we don't have the funds (gave it all as love offerings to the priests who preached and did missions in our prayer group this year) to fly someone to New Jersey.
Fourth, You know that I love children; I'm not getting any younger; and I'm ready to be a grandpa anytime You will it; so please grant my long standing wish and bless me with as many grandchildren of my own as possible, just like what You have done to my classmates, relatives and friends.
Fifth, please don't take away my cross but just loosen it a little bit by getting this person, You know who, off my back, and keep my focus on You, by working tirelessly with my wife and our brothers and sisters in Your vineyard.
Sixth, Lord, take care of my grown, career-driven and highly independent children, and give them the grace to do Your Will and follow Your Commandments because they travel a lot, and I can't keep up with them anymore.
Lastly, Abba Father, please increase my Faith in You, everyday...I need it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four days after Thanksgiving and ten days before my birthday, here I am Lord praising and thanking You for giving me another chance to enjoy earthly life with my family, friends, and Charismatic brothers & sisters.
I know how precarious life can be. You have us in the Palm of Your Hand and can snatch us anytime when You deem that our life is up, just like the way You took our brother and only guitarist in the prayer group two weeks ago, who had so much zest to live and unbounded energy and determination to serve You, despite his lingering illness. But, why this penchant for taking our musicians away, such as our brother-pianist who dropped dead last year, without any warning signs or replacement in sight? You know that we can't have a viable choir praising You in songs without instrumentalists accompanying us. But somehow, that's exactly what's been happening to our Music Ministry all these years. I trust and know that You have reasons, for after all, You are not only omnipotent and omniscient but also the Alpha and the Omega of all things. However, I must admit that many times, I can't follow and fathom Your Divine Intelligence, my beloved Father!
And, You know, of course, that when I'm at wit's end like this, I resolve not to doubt You, my Almighty Dad in Heaven. If my children Osbert and Claire-Voe never doubted my love for them when they were young, and even more so today in their mature minds and dispositions, because they know that I will always be a loving father who will be there for them whenever they need me; then, who am I to even think that my heavenly Dad, Who is the Source of all goodness and the Perfect Good Himself, will go against His very Nature and abandon me, His son, whom He created in His own likeness, and prepared a dwelling place for me to share in His everlasting Kingdom!
Again, I want to praise and thank You, Father God, for bringing me and Gie into the Charismatic Renewal, keeping me alive and continuously healing me physically, psychologically and spiritually from the effects of child abuse, and giving me the discernment and boldness to proclaim and testify that You've not only done great things for me and my family, but that You keep filling me with joy, peace and love of the Holy Spirit every moment, even in my unworthiness!
Thank You for sending Your Son Jesus to me during our Deliverance service with Damien Stayne last summer. What a wonderful surprise that was to me, for You to follow up on my healing, through Your Son Jesus Christ, Who delivered me from my deep-rooted concupiscence that has enslaved me on and off, through the years. This year, I was able to walk along the beach unperturbed by near naked bodies, or watch Penelope Cruz's old Spanish movies and delete unsolicited pornographic movie posters that were hacked in my computer without getting turned on, for the first time in my life! What a great blessing to receive from You the spiritual gift of finally being set free from this irrepressible concupiscence, which was brought about by the effects of sexual abuse that was inflicted on me as a young boy, and gave me tremendous pain and suffering in life.
And so Dad, I'm begging You for more healing of my fellow survivors, and deliverance from the effects of this abomination for all victims of child abuse.
Finally, I adore and glorify You...Our Father, Who art in Heaven; Hallowed be Thy Name; Thy Kingdom come; Thy Will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread; And, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; And, lead us not into temptation; But deliver us from evil. Amen.
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