I woke up past one this afternoon cogitating in my dream where to build our new home as I watched one of our friends showing off the piece of land they just purchased while the realtor in me couldn't make up my mind which lot to buy. I must have been very tired because I didn't go to bed with Gie until 5am after a glorious New Year's celebration praising & adoring Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament with Father Bill Halbing and our Bible study group at St. Antoninus Church in Newark until 12 midnight, followed by a Eucharistic celebration and desserts and hot tea afterwards. We left at 2am, returned our children's New Year's greetings in our cell phones while driving back, got home 30 minutes later, and enjoyed eating our belated noche buena while still savoring quietly the presence of the Lord in our lives together until 4am, without the usual booze-infused excitement and merriments of tooting our horns or banging our pans while marching around the house with all the tv's inside blaring, and opening our front door to bring in good luck and shouting at the top of my lungs to the neighbors "Happy New Year!" I retired in the family room next to the kitchen and fell asleep watching the replay of festivities in Times Square on CNN when Vangie finished cleaning up.
The night before on New Year's eve, I woke up praying in my dreams repeatedly for some kind of good news. So, I told Vangie half-jokingly to buy some lottery tickets during her grocery shopping at Pathmark, after work. I stayed home still recuperating from my back pain and winter allergy while posting on my Facebook wall and watching CNN's Top 10 Stories for 2010 when it dawned on me that all the stories were man-made, such as, the Gulf oil-spill, Chilean mine accident and rescue, the economy, unemployment & mid-term elections, etc., except the top one--the devastating earthquake in Haiti at the beginning of the year which was caused by Mother Nature or God, depending on your persuasion. And, even that is suspect because there are some people who think that the earthquake was brought about by man's disregard for nature and the environment in Haiti, in the form of deforestation, population explosion, corruption, etc.
Now, couple the above observation with some pronouncements from this week's interview of famous author Salman Rushdie by Charlie Rose on PBS (which brought to mind last year's headline-grabbing ideas of well-known atheists, namely, scientist Stephen Hawking and author Christopher HItchens who rejected the existence of God) who tried to promote his self-confessed two most heartfelt books he has written as a father for his two boys and at the same time affirming the great role of the gods in enriching our lives and his prose when they come down from their towers, lose their power and stop being gods, like the Greek and Roman gods, while denying the real existence of God, and you begin to wonder--does God really exist? Just six days after celebrating the Incarnation/Christmas and on the eve of 2011, ironically, you start asking--where is God in all of these top events of 2010 and in the struggles of my life, ever since I was born, or even conceived? And, why should I pray everyday for His Will be done on earth when He is powerless as to what's happening all around me, much less inside me, in my intellect and even in my dreams, except to enrich world literature and my imagination while I'm typing this blog?
Truly, Jesus wasn't there when Vangie & I agonized in December of 2009 and kept praying to Him and for His Mother's intercession for over two years while we went through with people who did their best to destroy our business and reputation for their own selfish gain if we lose our license and source of livelihood, right? But, we're still in business, didn't lose a penny or our license and people still trust us, selling and buying their homes through us. Maybe, it's only good luck, just like when you win the lottery. But, God has nothing to do with it, right?
Neither was He there when we kept praying to Him with the help of Mary and all the musical angels and saints in heaven for over sixteen years to grant us a viable music ministry in our charismatic prayer group to assist us in our praise and worship of Him? Of course, twice in the last six years He gave us false hopes by giving us two charismatic friends, followed by a young couple who led us in singing, but both quitted after only over a year. Fortunately, six months ago our parish got a new parochial vicar in Fr. Arcadio who is now our spiritual adviser and musical director and Sister Judy who recently joined us as our guitarist, both of whom patiently and lovingly trained and assisted our charismatic choir to sing Christmas carols beautifully for retired Franciscan Sisters in our area and during the Filipino Christmas Program in our parish. But, this could be another fluke which can fizzle out anytime, just like the first two. And, God has no control of it either, right?
How about when I started this website around the same time last year as a chronicle of my journey with Jesus and an extension of our Santo Nino Healing Prayer Ministry in order to prevent child abuse. Surely, Jesus, Mary & Joseph had nothing to do with it because it's all my doing, my experience and my insight? After all, I'm free to do whatever I want to, and I don't have to pray for God's will to be done in my life because I'm my own man, right?
Wrong! I don't know about you, for I can only speak for myself, and I can tell you from my experience that, left to my own volition, devices and instincts, I mess up...a lot. I need God in my life; I need the help of Mama Mary; and I need the prayers of all the angels & saints and our brothers & sisters in our prayer group and all faithful Christians in order to experience Heaven on earth. I need Jesus not just to enrich my life or inspire me in my endeavors, but as my Lord and personal Savior because without Him, I can do nothing to save myself. And, I praise and thank Jesus for giving me Mary who said, "Be it done to me according to thy Word," to be the Mother of God, and setting for me her magnificent belief and trust in the Lord by praying and accepting the Will of God in her life.
Lord Jesus, help me in 2011 to follow, not my will, but Thy Will be done in my life here on earth, as it is in heaven.
The night before on New Year's eve, I woke up praying in my dreams repeatedly for some kind of good news. So, I told Vangie half-jokingly to buy some lottery tickets during her grocery shopping at Pathmark, after work. I stayed home still recuperating from my back pain and winter allergy while posting on my Facebook wall and watching CNN's Top 10 Stories for 2010 when it dawned on me that all the stories were man-made, such as, the Gulf oil-spill, Chilean mine accident and rescue, the economy, unemployment & mid-term elections, etc., except the top one--the devastating earthquake in Haiti at the beginning of the year which was caused by Mother Nature or God, depending on your persuasion. And, even that is suspect because there are some people who think that the earthquake was brought about by man's disregard for nature and the environment in Haiti, in the form of deforestation, population explosion, corruption, etc.
Now, couple the above observation with some pronouncements from this week's interview of famous author Salman Rushdie by Charlie Rose on PBS (which brought to mind last year's headline-grabbing ideas of well-known atheists, namely, scientist Stephen Hawking and author Christopher HItchens who rejected the existence of God) who tried to promote his self-confessed two most heartfelt books he has written as a father for his two boys and at the same time affirming the great role of the gods in enriching our lives and his prose when they come down from their towers, lose their power and stop being gods, like the Greek and Roman gods, while denying the real existence of God, and you begin to wonder--does God really exist? Just six days after celebrating the Incarnation/Christmas and on the eve of 2011, ironically, you start asking--where is God in all of these top events of 2010 and in the struggles of my life, ever since I was born, or even conceived? And, why should I pray everyday for His Will be done on earth when He is powerless as to what's happening all around me, much less inside me, in my intellect and even in my dreams, except to enrich world literature and my imagination while I'm typing this blog?
Truly, Jesus wasn't there when Vangie & I agonized in December of 2009 and kept praying to Him and for His Mother's intercession for over two years while we went through with people who did their best to destroy our business and reputation for their own selfish gain if we lose our license and source of livelihood, right? But, we're still in business, didn't lose a penny or our license and people still trust us, selling and buying their homes through us. Maybe, it's only good luck, just like when you win the lottery. But, God has nothing to do with it, right?
Neither was He there when we kept praying to Him with the help of Mary and all the musical angels and saints in heaven for over sixteen years to grant us a viable music ministry in our charismatic prayer group to assist us in our praise and worship of Him? Of course, twice in the last six years He gave us false hopes by giving us two charismatic friends, followed by a young couple who led us in singing, but both quitted after only over a year. Fortunately, six months ago our parish got a new parochial vicar in Fr. Arcadio who is now our spiritual adviser and musical director and Sister Judy who recently joined us as our guitarist, both of whom patiently and lovingly trained and assisted our charismatic choir to sing Christmas carols beautifully for retired Franciscan Sisters in our area and during the Filipino Christmas Program in our parish. But, this could be another fluke which can fizzle out anytime, just like the first two. And, God has no control of it either, right?
How about when I started this website around the same time last year as a chronicle of my journey with Jesus and an extension of our Santo Nino Healing Prayer Ministry in order to prevent child abuse. Surely, Jesus, Mary & Joseph had nothing to do with it because it's all my doing, my experience and my insight? After all, I'm free to do whatever I want to, and I don't have to pray for God's will to be done in my life because I'm my own man, right?
Wrong! I don't know about you, for I can only speak for myself, and I can tell you from my experience that, left to my own volition, devices and instincts, I mess up...a lot. I need God in my life; I need the help of Mama Mary; and I need the prayers of all the angels & saints and our brothers & sisters in our prayer group and all faithful Christians in order to experience Heaven on earth. I need Jesus not just to enrich my life or inspire me in my endeavors, but as my Lord and personal Savior because without Him, I can do nothing to save myself. And, I praise and thank Jesus for giving me Mary who said, "Be it done to me according to thy Word," to be the Mother of God, and setting for me her magnificent belief and trust in the Lord by praying and accepting the Will of God in her life.
Lord Jesus, help me in 2011 to follow, not my will, but Thy Will be done in my life here on earth, as it is in heaven.
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